There’s a piece of work from the Anglo-Irish poet David Whyte that often gets a workout on social media: “Gratitude is not a passive response to something we have been given. Gratitude arises from paying attention...”

Now wait. Before you scroll past thinking this is another wellness piece full of vegan smoothies and chakra charts, hang tight. Because what Whyte’s talking about isn’t floaty nonsense. He’s saying the simple act of noticing your life as it happens (really noticing) might be the doorway to feeling more alive, more grounded, and yes, even a little more grateful.

What the hell is mindfulness?

At its core, mindfulness is just this: paying attention to the present moment without getting dragged into your own drama. It’s noticing your breath, your body, the bloke talking to you, the colour of the sky, instead of running your to-do list in your head while pretending to listen.

Mindfulness doesn’t mean you have to start doing yoga in the office kitchen or wear white linen on a weekday. It might look more like taking two conscious breaths before that Zoom call starts, or actually tasting your coffee instead of smashing it like you’re late for something.

Why does it matter for men?

Let’s be honest: a lot of Australian blokes were raised on a steady diet of “get on with it.” We’re taught to power through, to fix, to produce, and not to pause and observe our own bloody thoughts. But you know what? Mindfulness isn’t about being soft. It’s about being present. And presence is what keeps you from snapping at your kids, ghosting your mates, or drinking your feelings.

Recent Australian guides and research show mindfulness helps with:

• Stress regulation (not yelling at the dog for chewing your thongs);
• Focus and clarity (actually remembering what your partner said, not two hours later);
• Better sleep, fewer headaches, more patience;
• Reduced burnout, especially for men in the fog of mid-life.

Here is the interesting part. Your favourite sports teams are likely practising these suggestions right now. Hugh van Cuylenburg (author of The Resilience Project and co-host of The Imperfects podcast) has delivered mindfulness, gratitude, and empathy programs to every NRL club, multiple AFL teams, and even the Australian Cricket team.

Hugh writes: “Many sportspeople live by this ‘if and then’ model of happiness. They’ll say ‘if I get picked in this team, then I’ll feel happy’… that’s a dangerous model.” Workshops he ran at every NRL club in 2015 eventually loosened even the toughest athlete’s resistance. Once players saw small improvements (mental clarity under pressure, better sleep, improved relationships off-field) the mindfulness bit stopped feeling like a joke. Instead, it became part of their everyday toolkit.

David Whyte, presence, and the colour blue

Back to our poet. He also writes: “To see the full miraculous essentiality of the colour blue is to be grateful with no necessity for a word of thanks.” Now that’s a complex idea. Here is what I think he means.

If you’re really paying attention (like really seeing your daughter’s face, hearing the layers in a mate’s story, noticing the cold wind against your skin) then you don’t need to say “thank you.” You just are thankful. And that thankfulness shows up in how present you are.

Mindfulness, then, fosters a quieter gratitude, one that doesn’t feel forced, doesn’t require speech, and definitely doesn’t need altar candles. It’s showing up and being there, for yourself and others.

How to do it (without looking like you have joined a cult)

Here’s how men can weave mindfulness into daily life, no one else being the wiser:

• Box breathing: Inhale 4 secs, hold 4, exhale 4. Repeat 3 times …

pre-meeting, pre-argument, or just before you walk into Bunnings with a power tool budget.

• Mindful walking: Notice footfalls, that cool breeze, what your body feels like. Leave your phone in the pocket. Experience the world, not your newsfeed.
  
  
• Eat slower: Actually taste your sandwich. Don’t smash it like it owes you money.
  
  
• The 3-thing scan: At any moment, ask: “What three things can I hear? See? Feel?” Quick mental reboot. It’s free and it’s fast.
  
  
• Don’t overdo it: Two minutes counts. No need for cushions or chants.

It’s not “woo”. It’s attention

If there’s one thing Australian men excel at, it’s cutting through the nonsense. Mindfulness does the same, only inward. It’s about rebooting the chatter, stepping out of internal drama, and choosing to be present. As Whyte reminds us, presence itself is the true gift. Paying attention is both deeply human and quietly transformative.

It’s not about fixing your life; it’s about showing up for it. And maybe that’s another little way of ensuring we don’t let the old man in, at least not just yet.