A recent post on LinkedIn about skipping after‑work drinks caught my eye. Nothing dramatic, just one person’s choice not to attend the usual pub gathering. But the post struck a chord. It opened up a broader conversation: what are we losing when the default rituals of office life fade away? Are we risking connection? Or simply waking up to more inclusive, modern ways of bonding?

Once upon a time, grabbing a pint with your team was considered good sport, and good strategy. That’s where bonds were formed, politics was decoded, and “you had to be there” stories were born. But in today’s world of hybrid work, generational change, and greater sensitivity to inclusion, that pint may well be past its prime.

A ritual past its use-by date?

Let’s start with the obvious: remote and hybrid work have shifted the social centre of gravity. There’s no watercooler. No coincidental lunch run. No “just one drink” that turns into karaoke and a 2 a.m. shame spiral. And while some miss that spontaneity, others are quietly relieved.

Younger workers, particularly Gen Z, are increasingly sober-curious or entirely alcohol-free. Accessibility advocates rightly point out that after-work drinks can exclude caregivers, neurodivergent folk, and people whose faith or wellbeing choices don’t align with pub culture. And in a cost-of-living crisis, “just popping to the pub” isn’t financially neutral.

That doesn’t mean people don’t want connection. It just means we’re due for an upgrade.

What the research shows

The evidence is compelling. A 2022 paper from researchers at Microsoft found that spontaneous, informal face-to-face interaction is a major driver of psychological safety and belonging. Without it, people feel less seen, less confident, and less likely to speak up.

Another study (Jostle & Dialectic, 2024) found that while remote work increased productivity, it also made relationships more transactional. In their words: “The cost of short-term planning is a long-term negative impact on human inclusion and connection at work.”

And let’s not forget those joining a company remotely. A 2023 study from NYU revealed that new hires often struggle to build networks, and without deliberate social pathways, those early gaps can persist for years.

So what’s the fix?

The solution isn’t “get everyone back to the office” or “bring back Thursday night pints.” It’s to reimagine workplace rituals for the world we live in now.

“You can’t just assume… people are able to stay around for an hour or two after work—people have got trains to get,”

— Julian Braithwaite, CEO, Intl Alliance for Responsible Drinking

Creating connection means offering a menu of moments, small, inclusive, diverse, and optional. Here’s what that could look like:

For Employers:

• Synchronise in-office days.

So people bump into each other on purpose.

• Diversify your rituals.

Host daytime potlucks, tech-free walks, or midweek food sharing. Keep it casual, consistent, and low-pressure.

• Train managers.

Belonging can’t be outsourced to HR. Ask: “Who’s drifting?” and “Who’s thriving?”

• Don’t assume alcohol is the glue.

Create invitations where non-drinkers feel equally celebrated. That means not calling it “Beer O’Clock” or “Wine Down.”

• Invest in onboarding.

First impressions matter. Pair new hires with social buddies, not just project mentors.

• Build new forms of engagement:

Volunteer days are great way to encourage team-building while giving back to important causes.

For Employees:

• Show up, but in your own way.

Don’t want drinks? Try coffee chats, co-working days, or lunch walks.

• Start something.

Not finding the connection you crave? Initiate a movie club, a Friday game hour, or a remote trivia night. Someone else is waiting for the same thing.

• Be inclusive.

If you notice someone’s not in the loop, invite them in. Especially the quiet ones, or the ones working across time zones.

A gentle prod

If you’re over 40 (and especially men in that second or third career stage), these changes might feel like a loss. But here’s the invitation: don’t cling to the rituals. Cling to the reason behind them. Connection. Belonging. Feeling like you matter.

There’s nothing wrong with the pub. But there’s also nothing noble about gatekeeping culture with a beer. You don’t need alcohol to bond. You need intentionality, humour, and a bit of humility.

TL; DR (what is this?)

The after-work pint may be fading, and that’s not a bad thing. We’re learning to build workplaces where more people belong, not fewer. Rituals matter, but the right ones evolve with the times. So maybe skip the pint, but don’t skip the people.

There’s a reason the podcast Don’t Let the Old Man In resonates with thousands of men in their 50s. It speaks to the quiet war many fight against obsolescence, irrelevance, and a determination to navigate life’s crossroads with clarity and confidence. And likewise, if you’re reading this, you haven’t given up. You’re still curious. Maya Angelou once said, “If you’re always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be.” Midlife career change isn’t about being extraordinary. It’s about being aligned—with yourself.

Stephen Keys is the Producer of the Don’t Let the Old Man In podcast. Listen on YouTube, Apple, Spotify or wherever you tune in. Find more thoughts on living gracefully (and disgracefully) in the second half of life at The Wisdom Vault, on LinkedIn, Substack and even (!) Instagram.